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Confessions

by Faulty Parachute

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1.
Fatal Error 03:15
You're still here in my mind It has been years and I have tried To see things in a better light Without you I have lost my sight Our memories haunt my life I know I should leave them behind But I'll think back to better times I just can't shake it off this time Lock me in my mind and throw away the key I feel my demons here with me They never really seem to leave Hopeless days and sleepless nights A broken heart and blurry mind No more time to hide Another day I'll try to fight A restless conscience at all times A memory too fond to try And forget all those times I just can't shake it off this time I've gotten stronger since the last time that we talked alright one step forward, two steps back I can't keep letting myself crack Searching for a rescue call Some days I'm so afraid I'll fall I'm pushing through no turning back I can't keep getting so sidetracked Lock me in my mind and throw away the key I feel my demons here with me They're always trying to decieve Hopeless days and sleepless nights A broken heart and blurry mind No more time to hide Another day I'll try to fight A restless conscience at all times A memory to fond to try And forget all those times I just can't shake it off this time Go on and tell me that it's all my fault There's nothing left here There's nothing left Go on and tell me you did nothing wrong There's nothing left here There's nothing left I'll build a new foundation over this mess Hopeless days and sleepless nights A broken heart and blurry mind No more time to hide Another day I'll try to fight A restless conscience at all times A memory to fond to try And forget all those times I just can't shake it off this time
2.
I'm so lost again So stuck in my mind I'll wander these streets And waste all my time Since I can't move on with my life I know that I didn't suffice I can't let this be the end Just take me back To how it used to be When you and I Were supposed to be I spent all my time Hoping that you'd see That we could be something more I got this bad habit (I really can’t shake it) When you hit up my phone (and I feel so alone) I’ll throw everything to the side Just for a moment of your time I know he's all you'll ever need But I want it how it used to be When knowing I was by your side Would help you smile through the night I held you so close to my heart If I let go I won't know where to start Your ghost haunts everything I see I'm holding on to all these memories Just take me back To how it used to be When you and I Were supposed to be I spent all my time Hoping that you'd see That we could be something more Falling to pieces Your thoughts still consume me I can't let this end me I won't let this kill me
3.
So here we go again with you on my mind I can’t believe it’s been so long since I left your side Left you there to die But it was me that collapsed inside So I’ll wake up at noon, Listen to whiny tunes As you go on and do so well in fucking life I’ve fallen to shallow depths, and it’s no thanks to you But I’ll keep singing for you Cause I'm helpless and selfish Please come and brighten my life I remember how you said it took a while To open up to someone new Well two months later he was by your side I should have known it was a fucking lie You were alone and scared, I was enough to bear You could not say no because I got you by I’ve fallen to shallow depths, and it’s no thanks to you But I’ll keep singing for you Cause I’m helpless and selfish Please come and brighten my life I’ve fallen to shallow depths And it’s no thanks to you I’ve fallen to shallow depths, and it’s no thanks to you But I’ll keep singing for you Cause i’m helpless and selfish Please come and brighten my life Please come and brighten my life You went and fucked up my life
4.
Purgatory 03:21
If I said that I still want you Would you ever say the same? And if I said that I still need you Would that be fair to say? These past two years have been rough And it never seems to change Oh, our time still plays in my head oh yeah I should've waited for ya But I was blind to what we had And by the time I got there you were gone Fell in love from those long cold nights Where you and I just felt so right I turned around too late and now you're gone I can't believe that I left you But I was so afraid Even though you tried to stay But let's be honest for a moment When I turned my back on you You did the same thing to me too oh yeah I should've waited for ya But I was blind to what we had And by the time I got there you were gone Fell in love from those long cold nights Where you and I just felt so right I turned around too late and now you're gone Why won't you get out of my head? I can't get out of my own bed But my absence clearly didn't hurt you The moment I was gone he was your man oh yeah I should've waited for ya But I was blind to what we had And by the time I got there you were gone Fell in love from those long cold nights Where you and I just felt so right I turned around too late and now you're gone
5.
Overgrown 03:34
Sitting on a couch meant for company of two I think back to a time when that person was you And now I sit here wondering how I'll love again Cause I miss you, and I miss you, oh A 9 to 5 only distracts me for so long Cause right after I hear the heartbeat of our song I'll walk these busy streets and still feel quite alone I wish this loneliness wasn't so overgrown Every now and then I'll text you just to check in And every now and then I'll drink cause I gave in I wonder if you'll ever ask me how I've been Cause I miss you, and I miss you, oh A 9 to 5 only distracts me for so long Cause right after I hear the heartbeat of our song I'll walk these busy streets and still feel quite alone I wish this loneliness wasn't so overgrown
6.
Turn It Up 03:12
Let's turn it up, turn it up I don't know how you left me Took two short months to leave Spent 4 years doubting myself Your ghost makes it hard to breathe Let's turn it up, turn it up I'll let it come consume me There's nothing left for me I'll try to go confront this one more time I always treat this failure like a crime Please tell me all the wisdom You've gained from all these years It's so easy to reflect From the top of a castle Please turn it up turn it up Keep swearing you're the victim You never take the blame I'll try to go confront this one more time I always treat this failure like a crime You made sure that my self worth was at bay I must break out to fight another day You're not the person that I thought you'd be Hide your persona to keep me deceived Keep telling lies to keep me in your game I've learned the truth you really are to blame Let's play this game one more time As I lay out the facts We both did things that were wrong Please keep your head in tact You have moved on from our time And I can say the same But I will always reflect On what we could've been Let's turn it up, turn it up Let's turn it up, turn it up

about

Love can be a really difficult thing. You can give your all to someone, and it just seems to not be enough. Sometimes things don't work out. And sometimes that person meant so much to you that it feels impossible to let go.

This album goes out to anyone who feels like they're not enough. To anyone who deals with regret every day over someone that was their world. And to anyone who feels things will never change. You are not alone, and you will get through this someday.

credits

released March 15, 2019

Music written, performed, recorded, and mixed by AJ Wash
Artwork by Nate Hicks

Shoutout to Rachel Polak for essentially co-producing this with all her opinions and advice on these songs!

Shoutout to James Yenesel and Kevin Laudenbach for gang vocals in 'Fatal Error'!

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Faulty Parachute Denville, New Jersey

Let's be sad bois together <3

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